Utterance

“Hmm.” That’s all I hear from her. She makes this sound to show she’s paying attention. When I talk for hours, which happens frequently, she sits silently, stares into my eyes and listens. I can trace her gentle wheezing mixed into my words.

I know she is listening carefully to what I say; I can see it in her eyes. But she neither comments nor questions. She doesn’t need to because when I pose a question, either I answer it myself or soon realize its absurdity. That’s how well she knows me. Her only response is, “Hmm.”

Occasionally, she inhales and exhales louder to display her sympathy. And when she does that, I gaze into her kind yet mischievous eyes wondering how funny she might look wearing glasses like most of her peers, many of whom I have visited before. Those pretentious shrinks who maliciously try to project a sophisticated image to their patients.

Each therapist has his own techniques. The more experienced ones don’t talk much. You may talk for an hour and all he does is listen. When he feels you cannot express your emotions, he asks a simple question to get you back on track, a question you could have asked yourself but didn’t. And then he keeps quiet and listens again. 

But, he is not truly sympathetic to you, listening is his job. I bet while you’re expressing your deepest emotions and confessing your darkest secrets, things you’ve never mentioned to a soul, at the precise moment you’re most emotionally vulnerable, he maliciously looks at the clock secretly hidden in the bookshelf behind you and calculates your bill.

And a few minutes before your time is up, when the next patient is waiting, he interrupts to inform you these sessions must continue. They love return customers. That’s why I don’t trust them anymore.

But she’s different. For her, money is not an issue. On numerous occasions, I talk for hours and she just compassionately listens. She never looks at the clock because she doesn’t care about time. She knows how much I need her, how much her friendship means to me. 

And to show my appreciation for her understanding, I always give her a big piece of juicy meat from my plate and she wags her tail for me.

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Saeed Tavakkol

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Saeed Tavakkol published his first short story collection, "Confessions of a Writer" in 2005. He writes prose, poetry, and paints.

Find more of Saeed’s work on his website.

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