Almost Christmas Morning

The ornaments on the tree
matched the paper used to wrap every gift
the bows were elaborate
with matching ribbon
only red, gold, green
no white, no silver
everything perfectly coordinated
my Mommy’s rules from my childhood

My mother would miss
my daughter’s first Christmas
the anger in me called this
my mother’s choice
the empathy in me
recognized that it was the choice
of the mental illness

The anticipation of my little one
being excited by the gifts she would open
or rather we would open for her
in the morning provided a temporary reprieve
for my anger
hurt
and despair

Need more holiday reading? Check out these lovely pieces from the MockingOwl Roost flock.

• Man in the Shadows – Fiction
• Gingerbread House for a Mouse – Poetry
• Running Into Holiday Tradition: Jingle Bell Runs – Fitness for Creatives
• Christmas Waltz – Poetry

CLS Sandoval

+ postsBio

CLS Sandoval, PhD (she/her) is a pushcart nominated writer and communication professor with accolades in film, academia, and creative writing who speaks, signs, acts, publishes, sings, performs, writes, paints, teaches and rarely relaxes. She’s a flash fiction and poetry editor for Dark Onus Lit. She has presented over 50 times at communication conferences, published 15 academic articles, two academic books, three full-length literary collections, three chapbooks, as well as flash and poetry pieces in several literary journals, recently including Opiate Magazine, The Journal of Magical Wonder, and A Moon of One’s Own. She is raising her daughter and dog with her husband in Alhambra, CA.

Find more on CLS’s Facebook or Instagram.

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