To My Dearest Mama
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It’s been a while since I last wrote you a letter, Ma.
A day doesn’t go by that I don’t start to wonder what you’re up to right now. You’re probably doing your usual rounds at the market again, where you’d bargain with the vendors about the pork and chicken being too pricey — only for you to earn a spectacular discount at the end of the day.
Or, perhaps, you’re with your close kumares, sitting at a table around the corner of a cozy café, where you’d chika about the latest updates you’ve scooped about a new neighbor, before letting out your infamous hyena laugh. It never failed to crack a smile, and still manages to bring a tear to my eye.
Of course, not everything was full of warm sunshine and bright skies, like that time when we found out about your breast cancer diagnosis. I remember it so vividly, how the heartbreaking news drained every shade of color from your face. Twelve-year-old me couldn’t process it as I stood there, speechless, unsure of what the future would hold for us.
I remember meeting you in the hospital after class, with your white hospital gown draped over your body. You sat there with a huge smile on your face, as if you weren’t in pain hours ago.
“It’s going to be alright,” You said as you hugged me tightly into your arms. I clung to you in return, praying to God that I wouldn’t lose you so soon.
Fortunately, that’s all in the past now. I’m curious, how are your travels going so far, Ma, especially since you’re moving within a week? You often told me that you wanted to travel around with me when I graduated from college.
You probably already know this, but I’ve just finished my third year in college! It won’t be long before I can finally graduate and find a job that lets me travel outside the city to meet you on the other side of the world.
For now, you’ll just have to wait for me to finish my studies first — even though I’m sure it’s taking every ounce of patience that you have.
I can imagine you waiting for me at the airport with a huge sign that says, “It’s been ten years, but she’s finally here!” written in colorful, bold lettering when I arrive in the United States — one of the few travel destinations that you’ve always wanted to cross off your bucket list.
I wonder if you’ll still recognize me, even though you’re up-to-date on the story of my life at this point. Just so you know, I’m still the same artsy, hardworking, and awkward daughter you came to know and love, with a few major successes and drawbacks here and there.
But to be honest with you, I’m still trying to figure things out about my future, since it’s been years since I last held you tightly in my arms. Don’t worry too much about me, okay? Lola and Papa are here to guide me every step of the way, and they’re doing everything in their power to keep me afloat.
Whether you’re eating out with your kumares in heaven or flying around the world with your wings, just know that no matter how far apart we are, not a day goes by that I don’t think of you.
I love and miss you dearly, Ma. I hope this letter reaches you beyond the pearly gates.
Searching for more like this one? Give these a read:
- We Celebrate Mother – Celebrating Mom on Mother’s Day
- To My Father on Father’s Day – Father’s Day Without Dad
- Silence Can Be More Telling – A Fictional Story of Grief and Memories
- Earth Lessons – Grieving through Nature and Lessons
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