You Should Have Smelt the Roses
Image created on Canva
Dear Younger Self,
You were a bright kid. You did well in school and college and in your free time you devoured books. In your mind you were part of the boarding school stories you read about. You were either the captain of the best House or the good girl who caught the petty thief amongst the others.
Sometimes, you were yourself and you would wonder how that would pan out: A brown Indian girl in an English boarding school. It would be best if you were an Indian princess.
At other times you were a detective solving crimes in a small village. As you grew older and delved into the world of crime fiction, romance and the classics, your imagination took you to far away places: Greece, Spain and Italy where millionaires would sweep you off your feet. More often than that, you fantasized about being a hard headed tough cop or lawyer fighting for justice.
Once in a while you lived in the Middle Ages where you were a member of a large family –an ambitious woman who had to struggle to achieve her dreams.
That was the crux of the problem.
You lived in the past or the future. You lived and ate books. You rummaged for books while visiting friends and relatives.
You should’ve been alive in the present. You never realized how comfortable your life was. You took the love you received for granted.
You should’ve seen the wonders around you. The blazing sun each summer that mellowed each winter in Kolkata. The sky that turned bluer during festivals; the fervour in the air when Durga Puja was around the corner, the mood to party and eat cakes during Christmas.
You knew what kalbaisakhis were – those nor’wester storms that visit eastern India during the summer months just before sunset bringing with it torrential rain to cool the Earth. But you never looked up at the sky waiting for it. You never enjoyed the petrichor emanating from the parched land though you could spell and define petrichor.
Most of all, you didn’t see the people who tried to reach out to you. A weak student who wanted help. Nandita, a girl from a disturbed family, who followed you like a lost puppy. Instead of attempting to avoid her, you should’ve been kinder. A friend.
You used Aunt Meena’s garden to sit and read in ideal surroundings but you didn’t appreciate the garden she planted. You should’ve smelt her roses. It smelt of love. It would’ve made you a better person instead of a knowledgeable one.
Fondest wishes for a better life,
Your Older Self
Need a little more fiction to brighten your day? Read on!
- Princess Piano Box Full of Teeth – Flash Fiction
- An RAF Childhood – Flash Fiction
- For Sale – a Cozy Flash Fiction
- A Sighting – A Short Story
- Memories on a Rainy Evening – An Emotive Short Story
Sushma R Doshi
Sushma R.Doshi completed her graduation in History from Loreto College, Kolkata. She went on to acquire a Master’s degree, MPhil and PhD in International Studies from Jawaharlal Nehru University, New Delhi. She dabbles in writing fiction and poetry and her work has been published by Contemporary Literary Review India, Muse India, Borderless Journal, Literally Stories, Impspired, International Human Rights Art Festival, Syncopation Literary Journal, Green Shoe Sanctuary and Spillwords amongst others. She currently resides in India.
