Nothing More Than a Lesson

To let go of you was to kill a part of myself. She had always seen you with her, though you never saw her there.

She was dragged behind you, always taking small and hesitant steps.
Her wrists were wrapped in ragged string. Broken and repaired with her own hands.
Each time the string would snap, she’d find some way to piece it back together.
She was always wrapped up in her head, it drove her crazy, she labeled herself unlovable.

I watched her often, confused about how she had let herself be used, and manipulated over and over again. I watched as each time you cut the string, she scrambled to fix it.
She’d beg, plead, and promise to do better. 

You’d push her away but keep her close enough to reach out when you needed affection, affirmation, love from the person who would never leave you.
Abusing her kindness, her brilliance, and her beauty. 

Sometimes I would be the one to cut the string. The other half of me would lash out. Ignoring your warning signs and apologizing profusely until you’d let her come back.
I watched her let you turn her into nothing more than a confidence boost, something to show off on occasion. It became too much.

I struck a match, and I burned the string, standing there in shock at my actions.
Felt a rush of power, confidence, control.
The broken piece of me cried out as she withered.
She ran into the smoke, searching for any sign of connection to you, but it was gone, permanently.
She was frantic as she slipped away and faded into the same ash that the string became. 

With her now gone.
I initially felt a hole inside me. I felt a little numb, empty you might say.
I filled it with friends, family, hobbies, and such.
The feeling of absence dissipated as quickly as it had arrived, before I knew it, she was a shadow of my past, and you were nothing more than a lesson.

Looking for more poetry readings and audio content? We’ve got plenty at the MockingOwl Roost!

• At Daybreak – A Poetry Reading
• Glass Shell – A Poetry Reading
• Last Words/Elizabeth – A Poetry Reading of Loss
• Letting Go – Poetry Reading
• My Magic – an Audio Drama
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• Holding the Love, a Song

M.J. Myer

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M. J. Myer, a Northern Utah resident, loves hiking in the mountains, reading by natural lakes, and movie nights with the family. Some of her favorite movies are Inception, Parasite, and The Prestige — basically anything by Christopher Nolan. She will always be a fan of classic literature, including Orwell’s 1984 specifically, and the young adult trilogy Chaos Walking by Patrick Ness is a newfound favorite. Writing for her is an extension of how and what she feels, from the places she visits and the people she meets. Everything deserves a story and every person deserves to hear it.

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